Headless Barbie

Headless Barbie, the Hallowe'en Witch

I wonder when the first Barbie was beheaded. I KNOW who did the deed, a little brother.  Younger siblings have been destroying precious objects since the beginning of time.  Retribution is seldom as swift or severe as the indignant older child would like. 

As Hallowe'en approaches,  I realize that all is not lost.  And so, I present a headless Barbie, Hallowe'en Witch Barbie.  Curse them, Barbie!  Cast an evil spell and break all the toys of every little brother or sister who broke my stuff on purpose!

Oops, did I say that out loud?

Barbie Havisham

I have always called this one Barbie Havisham after the character in Dicken's Great Expectations.  Dressed in white, with her pale skin and long, black hair this Barbie seems spectral or even witchy to me.

Barbie Havisham

Dickens said Miss Havisham was "the witch of the place".  She was jilted on her wedding day and never recovered from the trauma.  She spent the rest of her life in a vendetta against men,  poisoning her adopted daughter's attitudes in the hopes that the beautiful Estella would destroy the lives of many men.  Miss Havisham wore the rags of her wedding dress.   Her wedding feast (including the cake) remained uneaten and rotting on a large table.

She is presented as a very dramatic character but one detail rendered her clownish to me. She wore only one shoe as she hadn't put the second one on her foot when she got the news that her betrothed would not be joining her at the altar.  Since most brides choose to wear high heels with their wedding finery,  I have always pictured Miss Havisham lurching around like Igor from the old
Frankenstein movies.   How scary is that?!

Swish Walk Barbie

The opening sequence of the Merchant-Ivory movie Howard's End begins with the camera following  a woman who is wearing a dress with a train.  She is outside and her train swishes unheeded behind her as she walks.  I remember absolutely nothing else of the film although it did garner many awards including an Oscar for Emma Thompson.

Swish Walk Barbie

The word  'swish' in  the last paragraph describes the way the skirt moves making a sibilant sound.  Swish can also mean sophisticated or fashionable.   Barbie often wears swish clothes to the many glamorous events she attends.

In the autumn, Barbie likes to go for swish walks in the forest.  A swish walk is only possible after the leaves have begun to fall.  As you stroll along, you hear the swish, the rustling of dry leaves underfoot.

Picture an ideal day. The tree limbs are bare and the sky is deeply blue.  The red, orange and gold colours swish underfoot, the dark branches reach up to the clear sky and there is a hint of cold in the air.  Complete the walk with a wood fire and cinnamon-scented apple cider.

I think I just described heaven.

Oktoberfest Barbie

Oktoberfest Barbie

I always thought Oktoberfest was a harvest festival like Thanksgiving.  It seems I was wrong.

Oktoberfest's roots reach back to the wedding of King Ludwig 1 of Bavaria in 1810.  It was a protracted celebration and on the 5th day horse races were held.  The horse races must have been quite entertaining because they were held again the next year.  And that was the birth of Oktoberfest.  In Munich it is celebrated in September now (better weather).  There the party lasts for about 16 days or so.  The exact dates seem to be calculated by the same committee that decides when Easter will be each year.

As with any really good idea, the festival has spread to many places including Argentina, Australia, Canada, India, South Africa, the United States, Brazil, Viet Nam, Chile, Sri Lanka, and, of course, Palestine.

In 2013, 6.4 million people visited Oktoberfest in Munich.  With crowds this big, it is not surprising that so few people noticed Barbie in the army of  servers.  Lucky me, I got a photo.  Ein Prosit!

Super Moon Barbie

Oh, shine on, shine on, harvest moon, up in the sky.  
I ain't had no lovin' since January, February, June or July.  
Snow time ain't no time to stay outdoors and spoon, 
So shine on, shine on, harvest moon - for me and my gal.

On July 12 the perigee moon shone over Witless Bay in Newfoundland.  The sky was the most amazing deep blue and the moon was  a spectacular glowing orange.   My two favourite colours saturated my eyes and the camera could not capture the intensity or the immensity of it.

Barbie appreciates the colour combination too so has chosen it to wear to the Harvest Moon Ball on October 8th.

In university, one of my flatmates  was a psychology major.   He brought home a set of eight little cards,  a colour personality test.  The idea was that you ordered the cards from favourite to least favourite colour; then you mixed the cards up and chose again.  This was supposed to be revealing.  All it revealed to me was that I really like deep, rich blue and bright orange together.

I just checked and you can do the test on-line now.  It is still supposed to be revealing.  I was underwhelmed.

Barbie the Bruce

Barbie the Bruce

We all love to watch the highland dancers with their beautiful kilts and ghillie-shod feet.  I also like the intricate patterns and figures of Scottish country dancing.  The progressive dances are particularly interesting because the dancers repeat the formations but from different positions.  For people like me with left/right issues this is amazing. 

There is a legend told of the Scottish king, Robert the Bruce.  It is probably apocryphal but it's a good story.  He was hiding in a cave, on the run from the English.  He watched a spider trying to spin a web between two rocks.  The spider was very ambitious and initially failed to span the distance.  It tried again and again until it succeeded.  Robert took heart from this and rode into battle once more.  He was ultimately crowned King of Scotland.

I wonder if the people of Scotland who favour independence will try again.

It took me seven tries to write this.

Barbie's Ugly Dress

Barbie's Ugly Dress

Did anyone hear the CBC Radio program Tapestry on the topic of Narcissism?  They were talking about me.  I heard my personality being eviscerated on the radio.  My worst flaw was exposed for all to see.  Did you know one of the defining characteristics of a narcissist is the inability to see the truth in oneself?

Apparently writing blogs and posting on Facebook are common manifestations of this particular personality disorder.

I took the personality test on the CBC website to see how I rated on the narcissistic scale.  Normal is around 15 and reality show contestants tend to score about 19.  My score was 4.  That makes me a narcissist and a self-deluded liar!

I mentioned in an earlier post that I teach English as a Second Language to new Canadians.  Language learners are often blind to the nuances of the language and can make glaring mistakes in register.  A common example would be to use the crude synonym for  a bodily function rather than a more acceptable one like defecate.

Sometimes I take newly produced Barbies to school to show off.  (I TOLD you I was a narcissist.)  The one shown here was included in a group of four or five.  A lovely young woman from Afghanistan picked it up and said, "This one is ugly."  I explained that her sentence was blunt to the point of rudeness and suggested she say something like, "I like the colour of the skirt." or "There are lots of beads".  She listened carefully, nodded and put down the Barbie.  "Yes", she said, "but it is ugly."

But I know that everything I make is worthy of note.

My name is Suzan, queen of queens:
Look on my Barbies, ye Mighty, and despair!'  (apologies to Shelley)

There, Narcissism, Hubris and possibly Schadenfreude all in one post.  Plus an ugly dress.