Zumba Barbie

Zumba Barbie

I am sure you have heard about Alberto “Beto” Perez who invented  Zumba during the 1990's.  The story is that he forgot his music for an aerobics class and substituted Latin music.  His class loved it and demanded more.  It is now a major exercise industry with certified instructors and dedicated music and choreography.

Wikipedia reports that approximately 15 million people take weekly Zumba classes in over 200,000 locations across 180 countries.  One of my Zumba friends says that in France, people do Zumba in the discos.  There have been Zumba classes on Parliament Hill here in Ottawa.  I love to go to Zumba.

It is excellent exercise but it feels like a party.   During a one-hour class everyone dances to the  beats of cumbia, salsa, bachata,tango and chachacha.

Henry David Thoreau said "Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes..." You can buy Zumba licensed clothing but it really isn't necessary... unless you are Barbie.

Amauti Barbie

As I write, the windchill here is -40.  Traditional people of the north dealt with cold like this without the benefit of central heating.  They are the most resourceful people on earth. They sewed clothing from the furs of the animals they hunted using the bone to make needles and sinew for thread.

In winter an amauti is worn with the fur next to the skin, and a second one is worn with the fur out.  The capacious hood is designed with an inner pouch (an amaut) so a baby can be carried safe and warm on the mother's back but can be moved to the front for feeding.

The women who made the clothing would embellish the garments with  pieces of contrasting fur or beads.  Now,  woven fabrics are often used but the basic design is retained. 

Barbie is also wearing lined pants and knitted mukluks.  The baby is, as tradition dictates, completely nude.

Polar Bear Dip Barbie

Polar Bear Dip Barbie

New Year's traditions include cleaning the bad from last year and celebrating a fresh start.  It is customary to make loud noises to scare away the bad spirits or to hold ceremonies to smoke out the traces of evil.  It may be important to tell people you love them or forgive them or both.  Some cultures require that all debts be repaid.  The events unfold with dancing, music, countdowns and a momentous kiss at midnight.  I have heard that a lot of alcohol is consumed.

These customs make a certain amount of sense (except maybe the morning-after hangover) but the idea of  going for a polar bear dip just seems foolish.  A fundraiser for charities, the participants  gather at a frozen river, hack a hole in the ice and jump in.  I'm serious.  For safety, the organizers provide a diver and first aid staff.  I'd suggest a psychiatrist would be a relevant addition to the team.

Somehow, doing a polar bear dip appears on many bucket lists and there are some enthusiasts who participate yearly!  The first question  is "Why?"  The second is "What should one wear?"  The answer to the first question is a mystery.  The answer to the second one is 'as little as possible'.  When you leave the frigid depths you don't want a lot of fabric holding the cold water against your skin.  You do want a heavy robe to wear to the water's edge and back.

Barbie is proud to assist in fund-raising and always open to new experiences.  She'd tell you how it went but her teeth are chattering too loudly.

O Little Star of Bethlehem Barbie

O Little Star of Bethlehem Barbie

In elementary school, we had a Christmas concert every year.  One notable time my class sang The Coventry Carol.  All of the students sat on stage for the whole show and each class would rise as it took its turn to sing.  This was much easier than marshaling the children in and out for each song.

The school stage had two short flights of stairs leading down to the gym floor with a skirting wall that extended to hide the stairs from the audience.  Someone rigged a platform by putting some boards across the top of the wall for my class.  There was room for 24 kids in two rows, twelve stage left and twelve stage right.  I was kid 25 so my chair was on the gym floor and I stood on it when it was our turn to sing.  I was tall but the arrangement had my head at waist level to the others.

No one else from my family was performing that year.  We had a new baby at home so my mother could not attend.  Dad tried to escape too.  He suggested that I need not go.  This was craziness.  I had practiced.  My class needed me.  Dad suggested he could drop me off at the school and pick me up when it was over.  No, no.  Everyone's parents would be there.  What if he only came for my one song?  It wasn't just one song.  We would all be singing O Canada at the start and God Save the Queen at the end!

My adorable, long-suffering Dad came....  and stayed for the whole concert. 

All I Want for Christmas Barbie

All I Want for Christmas Barbie

It is hard to keep  Christmas secrets when you live in a family.  After every shopping expedition you have to sneak into the house and up to your  room to wrap and hide the gifts before someone sees you.  

My father, the world's worst gift shopper, took my four-year-old sister and me to choose a gift for our mother.  Mom had mentioned that she would like a pair of kid leather gloves to match her new purse.  It was a successful trip and dad explained that we must not tell what we had bought.  It was a secret until Christmas.  He repeated many times on the way home that the kid gloves were a secret.  We promised.

But Christmas is unbearably exciting when you are four years old and we weren't out of our coats before my sister blurted the news to Mom.  "We bought you kid's mitts!"

Barbie's lips are sealed.  She will never tell you what I got for you this year.

Rola Bola Barbie

Rola Bola Barbie

Barbie is dressed as Pierrot, a sad clown whose origins stem from the traditions of seventeenth century entertainers in Paris.  Pierrot is a sad-faced clown, a mime, who pines for Columbine.  His love is unrequited and while Columbine may flirt with Pierrot, she always chooses Harlequin.
Barbie is not very concerned with this aspect of Pierrot (she has Ken) but she is trying to learn some of the circus skills that the very best clowns possess.

Circus skills are divided into three categories (according to the Hovey Burgess pedagogy).  They are juggling, equilibristics and vaulting.  Rola bola is an example of an equilibristic skill.  It is a balancing act often combined with juggling.

Life is a balancing act often combined with juggling.  That is not a new or very perceptive analogy but it's really deep thinking for Barbie.

First Ball for Barbie

Dressed for the Ball Barbie

Barbie is dressed for her first ball.  There will be champagne, candlelight and caviar.  She will dance with many dashing partners.  All will comment on her beauty and she will be described as the belle of the ball.

My first ball was the soccer dance for a team of twelve-year-old boys.  My across-the-driveway neighbour asked me.  I was so excited, I left him standing outside while I screamed in joy and jumped around our kitchen.   Poor guy, I know his mother made him ask me.

My mother took me to Jacobson's to buy a suitable dress.  It was blue wool with pretty embroidery and it was as itchy as can be.  I wore a slip that almost solved the problem.  I remember nylon stockings and I wore my everyday shoes, solid brown Oxfords with scuffed toes and wear marks on the sides from my roller skates.

The dance was in the school gym on Saturday afternoon.  Our gym lights had two settings, off and glaring.  The chaperones chose the less romantic of the two.

There were refreshments, sandwich quarters, cake squares and very sweet beverages.

They played dance music on a record player and we stood morosely for a while.  Some of the boys horsed around and then some girls bravely danced together.  "Twist and Shout"  was popular and as long as I ignored my date I was fine.  Spending time with him was just too awkward.  He lived next door for Pete's sake.  How would I face him in the morning if I accidentally touched him while we were dancing together?

Finally realizing this group of kids were too young for  a sock hop, one of the parents suggested a variation of Blind Man's Bluff where the blindfolded boy repeated "Rachel, where are you?" and the blindfolded girl answered "Here."  A game! my competitive instincts were raised.  I am proud to say I found him in mere seconds.  I think the idea was that he would search for me while I eluded him but I decided that shortest time was the goal and I wanted to win.

I waited several years before I went to my next dance. It wasn't much better.