Sou'wester Barbie

Sou'wester Barbie

When Barbie camps, the weather is perfect, balmy even.

When I camp, it rains.  I don't even have to sleep out.  One beautiful evening, we decided to take our three children for a short paddle on the river in our back yard.  Everyone put on a PDF and we floated downstream about 100 meters in peace.  Then a huge cloud appeared overhead and we found ourselves in the middle of a thunder storm.

Another time, we were traveling with a hiking group from Capetown to the Fish River Canyon in Namibia.  The bus stopped at an abandoned gas station for the night. It was the routine that everyone sleep outside in the field.  No one had tents because we were in a desert.  It hadn't rained there since forever.  The downpour lasted all night so we all slept cramped in our seats on the bus.

We went canoe camping in Temiskaming for a week.  It rained hard every single day and every single night.  Some portages had thigh-deep puddles to wade through as we carried the canoe on our heads.  I slept with a rivulet running through my tent and into my sleeping bag.  The sun did come out (once),  and we pulled to shore to hang the wet bedding to dry.

We hiked in the Wilderness National Park in South Africa.  We went in winter and were the only hikers on the controlled trail.  Of course, it rained.  Our safety matches could only be lit on the special box they came in.  The wax coating kept the matches dry but the box disintegrated in the rain.  No matches, no fire, no cooking.  Dry biscuit mix may be nourishing but it tastes like chalk.

Barbie is ready to go camping in a rain suit, yellow rain boots and a matching sou'wester, just in case.

Retirement Barbie

Retirement Barbie

I celebrated the last day of school by retiring.  I didn't announce my news until all the students had gone.  I don't like fuss and besides, it was their day to rejoice in their achievements.

My colleagues, who are creative, energetic, entertaining people felt differently and a few days later staged a Barbie Retirement Party for me.

We had pink balloons, Barbie tattoos, Barbie kites, a Barbie tablecloth and paper plates and Barbie games.   I was gifted with a pile of nude Barbies.  But just look at dessert! 

Canada Day Barbie

Canada Day Barbie

I acknowledge that being born is Canada is like winning a  lottery but I abhor jingoism  and I cringe when people 'wave the flag'.  South of the border, people seem to be much more comfortable with expressing their patriotism.

I was in a wonderful jazz restaurant in the U.S. once and the final number before the break was a medley of songs including America, the Beautiful and It's a Grand Old Flag.  The audience stood with their hands on their hearts, deep in the moment.  I had to leave.  My status as guest in the country had been overwritten and I had become an alien.

That being said,  every year on Canada Day,  Barbie and I wear red and white.  No temporary tattoos or flags painted on the forehead are allowed, but we do acknowledge the day with a certain sartorial flair.